Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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