Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize