So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
