we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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