great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i barfeds in our rink
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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