Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
