and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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