piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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