well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize