New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
