can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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