...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
