they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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