i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
