you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
