And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
wow bdsm is so cute
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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