you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
