First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
