Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
