she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
