With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
