Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
