Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
