im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize