You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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