i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
