Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
