Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm passing your future prison.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
