# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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