How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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