He disabled his match.com account in front of me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize