Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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