i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
sarcasm needs its own font
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
