i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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