He kissed a someone with a penis
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
