I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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