i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
