It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
