yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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