At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just forgot I was standing up.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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