Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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