Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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