you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
