he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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