My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Randomize
