I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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