K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
