drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
