It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
