I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Holy sore nipples Batman
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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