i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
