Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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