Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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