first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize