i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
