Pappa wants mamma naked
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
