Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
