if you like me you must not know who I am
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
