And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
