i just wanna soil my oats bro
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
