Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
