I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
