I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
