I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
honey bunches of taint.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
